The bathroom smells bad? Your kids won't stop asking you dumb questions? This is where your COVID face covering really comes in handy.
It goes unsaid that wearing a mask or face covering is one of the easiest ways to protect yourself and others against the threat of COVID-19 infection. But did you know there are actually a lot of other practical uses for your mask? You might start wearing yours all the time when you realize these helpful hacks!
Mask up to warm up. Winter is here -- for a lot of the country, it's time to bundle up. Have you noticed that your face mask can help keep you warm? Go nuts, get inventive, and create your own warm winter PPE like these two. Wearing your mask, even while outdoors, is a great idea to ensure your own personal comfort.
Finally win a round of poker. I always lose when playing poker with my friends. Maybe it's my less-than-complete understanding of game strategies, but I'd like to think it's my undeniable and iconic facial expressions that give me away. They'll have no idea what you're thinking when you show up at the table looking like this:
Muffle your child's tantrums. Do you have one of those kids that just won't shut up? You refused to buy Froot Loops and now your kid is throwing a tantrum because you’re going against the wishes of the talking toucan on the box. Masks up, kiddos! Their babbles, cries, and/or other nonsense will still be audible, but they'll be slightly muffled, so you can tune them out 26% more effectively!
Protect yourself from your cheap landlord. If you live in an apartment complex like mine, occasionally you'll notice new mold spores around your window and A/C unit because your landlord is too cheap to seal the windows effectively or pay for a regular mold-removal service. Comfortably scrub that killer mold away with killer bleach while wearing your mask and face shield. Those spores can't get into your face holes now!
Keep that bathroom stank out of your nose. Whether you work from home or are designated by the government as an expendable worker, we all gotta go to the bathroom. Did your spouse or coworker leave behind a smelly surprise for you? No problem -- you can't even smell it with your face mask on. Which is better than the alternative: getting COVID, losing your sense of smell, and spending months in the ICU.
This was written by Carleigh Berryman on December 7th, 2020. While there are some great tips in here, rest assured this is a satirical piece.